This matching is called HLA, and we passed. My blood did not have antigens that rejected hers, and would have rejected a kidney.I have the strangest feeling of reboot I have ever had, and I've been on many retreats where the idea was to straighten out my mind a bit. It didn't seem to be happening as I sat with the Zen group last night, though I did feel my mind was clear, less active than usual. But I do a lot in my dreams, and perhaps I did last night, waking up to see visual phenomena, this dappled-sunlight, as almost not coherent. Sounds were also oddly fragmentary. Reboot.
Reboot - what was that computer into, that old program? I was - I am - pretty sick, just holding on, praying for a kidney from a deceased donor for over two years now. ( The best deceased-donor kidney is worse than the worst from a living donor.) So it was a future I just wanted to get through with willpower and caution. So tired, tired of all the illnesses that accompany this mess. Last year's frightening arrythmias. How much energy it takes to cook a meal. Tired of being too old to travel, when other people my age are sending facebook photos of Paris and Minnesota.
New program: The Tao, the universe, has inexplicably sent my way a fresh, new beautiful kidney. First of all, it makes that universe look different. It looks golden and bountiful, like it cares about me. In this flowing stream there is Laura, who inexplicably wants to be an altruistic donor, who happens to hear about me. I didn't know there were golden people floating beside me, people filled with light.
[Kanzeon, her thousand arms, ready to give you whatever you need. This photo taken and freely given by Nat Krause.]