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| Thinking about collage |
Yes, there are a lot of threads, and boy, are there a lot of errors and problems along the way. I am so grateful that Zen Teacher Dogen said, "My life has been a series of mistakes." Of course it has; you're always doing something for the first time. Even if you've done it before, be prepared to be surprised.
Then there are the bigger problems we run into with our neurosis. I'm using that word in the way the Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Trungpa Rinpoche, used it, to refer to this kind of mixed-up conditioned self we are; psychiatry aside, we're all neurotic until we awaken fully. As I understand it, you are still you, and your neurosis will rear up at times, but if you're fully conscious and present you can invite it to go sit down in the other room while you make some tea.
When something is awfully difficult, that's your neurosis kicking up. Or mine. They are fond of saying that's exactly where your practice begins. I hate that. I'm glad I'm not a Teacher and I don't have to be nice and positive about that...............though I do believe in trying to be nice. Last Saturday night after a funeral I was introduced to a man in a beautiful Indonesian shirt was as "The Dalai Grandma," (a first for me), which led him to quote his favorite saying of the Dalai Lama: "Try to be nice."
Time for a breather.
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next day -
The great news from my musculo-skeletal doc is that Friday's MRI shows no compression fractures in the spine. The unspoken news is also no tumors or cancer. He is confident I irritated a nerve, and it will heal over time, and I won't be as limited and in pain as I am right now. But what I have to do - are you ready? - is pamper myself. Yes.
And next time I start to hurt while driving, stop driving. I know exactly when the injury happened a couple of weeks ago. I was driving the van on a highway, running late, spine hurting like crazy but I didn't want to get off and change drivers; and Tom didn't feel great anyway, and had asked me to drive. Well, I am not yet too old to learn. Meanwhile, no PT just now and stay as active as I can. While pampering myself. So I'm off to do that now.
Another idea, maybe you and Tom can swing an inversion table, at a little over $100...you will be amazed. My tall uncle has one, and it is not an exercise, just resting head down relaxing compression in the spine...maybe your Zen kitty might join you after a bit...and you can post a viral video!
ReplyDeleteYou are a marketing genius......The good news is, I have been successful in not lifting things, and the back is healing.
Deletehappy pampering! and yes make some collage! I always think collage is a great analogy for our selves, how we are created from all the bits that gather and stick to us over the years.
ReplyDeleteI am enjoying a collage class with an assignment each week, because all week I pick up scraps of packaging, words, cellophane - I keep seeing the world as material. In that it's a lot like writing.
DeleteHooray for pampering yourself! What's on the agenda? I shall join you and NOT go to the comic book convention with The Man tomorrow morning. Har har. I'm glad to hear there's nothing seriously wrong with your back--not that that lessens the pain, but, well, you know.
ReplyDeleteMy neuroses and I are well acquainted at this point in my life, and Jeanne: it's a frigging relief.
That's it - resisting reality is so much work.
DeleteI am happy to every moment in my stage now.
ReplyDelete