Saturday, August 27, 2011

Bragging Rights

Actually, bragging wrongs.

It used to be - I mean way back in the middle of the last century - that we understood bragging was wrong.  I think as kids we corrected each other snidely if we did it.  Maybe kids still do, until they get on social networks and/or get smart phones.  I blame all that, the internet, camera phones, digital cameras, and of course, the general breakdown of civilization.

Used to be, if you had some triumph, you ran home and told your mother about it.  If she did something special, like grow an heirloom tomato, such as above - which I bought at the store - she might take it over to a neighbor to see, but not if that neighbor's tomatoes weren't bearing.  It might make her feel bad.  See what I mean?

Similarly, the incredible fellowship you won, your new fur coat, the gourmet meals you cook every day, which I admit are beautiful, your many vacations - Wun used to not brag about accomplishments and privileges to the whole wide world.  After all.  Some people you know can't travel because they're old or sick or have no money, or all of those.  Back when, you didn't ask people in those categories to come and watch your slides, or even look through a little album you might take to work, though I never knew anyone who did that, actually.  No. People used their discretion.  Perhaps Wun pinned a postcard of Paris inside her pod.  That's all.

Do I really have to go on with this, or do you want to go to your Facebook and see who's sending photos from Rome before they go on to Greece?  See pictures of a fabulous meal at a four-star restaurant you could never afford?  Okay, I'll concede this - it gives us all a chance to work on our natural envy.  As if we needed more such opportunities.

What is needed, probably, is that everyone go to that new Google attempt at a social network, which I understand allows you to separate your friends into various circles.  Put me in the one that says Can't Travel, Can't Afford Fine Restaurants.  Yes.  Put your mother and daughter in the other one that says Always Happy for my Good Fortune.  Maybe your sister too, maybe not.  I leave that to you.

Meanwhile, you can always "hide" an offender on Facebook, click on the x top right of one of their posts.  They won't even know it.  You can unhide them, too.  I managed to do that, though I couldn't tell you how.  And if one of those hidden world travelers asks if you saw his pictures of Italy, you can say wonderingly, "No - I don't always check my facebook like I should."  Which is probably true. 


  1. Well, thank you for voicing my thoughts. I couldn't have put it better. I'm ashamed to say I took great satisfaction in seeing a person gabbing about nothing on the almighty cell phone while jay walking almost get run down. Of course I "deleted" the thought immediately......

  2. Funny how things strike different people differently. I never look at those kinds of things as bragging, and I don't find myself feeling envious. I just look at them as people's joys in life, just as I have my own joys, even if they don't include 4-star restaraunts and travel. I feel glad that they can do whatever floats their boat.

    BTW, you can categorize your friends in FB, too. From your wall, go to Friends; Manage Friend List; in the drop-down menu on the left, All Friends. Then in the box that said "Manage Friends" in the previous step, it now says "Create a list." Click on that, and you can make as many lists as you like.

  3. What wine goes best with pecan sandies?

  4. Maybe a humble red - but I'd prefer some Orange Pekoe tea.

  5. Great post, DGrandma! I think there are those posts that are simply sharing joys in life but I think when all that is shared is the joys in life, and nothing more, I think that's when the word "friend" becomes limited to a "FB friend", which by definition, has come to mean someone that you "know" on FB, but perhaps only share joys with, nothing more. A true friend is someone you can share sorrows, frustrations, disappointments, get the picture.

  6. Today I found myself thinking about FB as a cocktail party. Tom comments that that means people are all vying for most status in the heirarchy. There are a few of my FB friends, including a couple I've never met, who are honest,who post about their daily lives and feelings. Others talk about a book they liked, or dying t-shirts with their kids. I like all of this, and know these folks much better for it. And of course, for the more personal, there's that old-fashioned thing, e-mail. Thanks, everyone, for your comments.

  7. be carefull...ecodaris lies...she is a character assasin,always

  8. Wonder who you are, Anonymous - and who is the mysterious ecodaris?