|A good color to look at when you're depressed|
When you feel bad, you just feel bad, regardless of cause. Depression is complicated. You perceive the world differently, you think differently, you feel lifeless, you have no enthusiasm. When I feel like this, it helps me to remember how bad off I could be, to remind myself what other people are going through - people like my doctor, his wife and kids and parents.
On a bad day, remembering that I am not at all bad off has to take place in my logical left brain, a statement that seems detached from "me." Nevertheless, it is true, as it is true that a feeling is just a feeling; a mood is just an emotion that is stuck, emotions have no reality, but come and go like the wind. And there are plenty of things to be grateful for.
A couple of years ago a friend of mine had a heart attack. I can imagine how frightening that must be, because I've since had two episodes of my heart going out of rhythm. The second one was so big that I knew - didn't think it, knew - that I could die right then, with no warning, no chance to prevent it. So I understand when Chris says that every morning now when he wakes up he feels grateful to be alive. Me too. Even - if you know what I mean - even when I'm not.