Thursday, September 2, 2010
Putting away clothes, I think, "It only takes a minute." Takes a minute. The phrase implies that there is a thing that is a minute, a chunk of time - so this is language forming the way we think. "To take a minute" is to grab a chunk out of this flowing river named "time."
Then I thought, I spend so much time on time management. Whoops. To spend time.
Then, "to manage time." It isn't time I manage at all, it's myself. My actions.
Miss Shud likes to try to manage me/my time. In the morning she starts right in with principles like, You should read dharma and meditate first thing in the morning.
I argue with her. That is, Me - this body/mind. She craves to check my e-mail, like a child waiting for the mail to come -and bring - maybe - a present. (Have you noticed, e-mail seldom does.) Body-mind tend to win over Miss Shud's principles.
Yet, what is the place of self-discipline? Managing the self, unpleasant thought, let's see, choosing what to do right now. Choosing. You have to quiet the dialogue of of Shud and Me. What do I really want to do right now? An AA person I know says "Just do the next right thing." I reply, "Just do this right thing."
And isn't that the whole point of spiritual practice or, if you like, of sobriety or self-improvement? - you want to do what you're doing with a whole heart, you want to choose, you want to remain aware.
And now I am relieved of all this thinking because I have to go to the Chinese doctor. The drive takes 15 minutes. A handy concept.
[image: summer texture - just that, nothing more]