Monday, August 23, 2010
It was cool when we three surprised them with chimes and bells at the end. But the most impressive part of the service to me was when Eric spoke about responsibility. The service was firm about that; marriage is about assuming responsibility, not only for the other person, but for this third thing you are inviting in - the relationship. You will be required to give it time, to tend the relationship itself.
I thought how Tom and I sit down and talk when something is troubling one of us, usually me, or have a meeting when there are major financial decisions to discuss, like getting a furnace. And we routinely just sit with coffee and breakfast and the morning paper, and casually download miscellaneous stuff, our dreams, our daily schedule. That is marriage-tending time. Then of course there is murmuring in bed. You can't have an intimate relationship if you are not available for this kind of ritual.
We are coming up on our 26th anniversary in October, pretty good for people with disastrous early relationships. I wish the same for Cassie and Chris.