Thursday, October 30, 2008

When this is over, I'm having a life

This morning I have a small fever, which makes my vision keener, somehow. I enjoyed the concept of taking a sick day, so read the paper thoroughly with my coffee, "wasting" time. This gave me the idea of writing about how the era of Cowboy Greed is going to be officially over when the election results are in.

But I did have a little thing I wanted to do before I got to expressing my thoughts. Get a sympathy card in the mail.

As I was choosing a card from my drawer, thinking about my friend, and remembering how it is to lose your mother, I noticed activity outside the windows. Always hopeful that I will again see a coyote in our backyard wilderness, I looked up. Falling leaves.

Most of the leaves have already fallen. The sturdy hangers-on are coming down one at a time, swirling sideways in the winds. There is a poignancy to this sunny day. The color is as good as it will get, the sky is a rinsed blue. In a week, it will look like winter, and we will be thrown by the end of daylight-savings time into early dark. This added to my desire to complete my little task and sit in front of the window, looking out.

It is a great, sensory and spiritual pleasure just now to sit quietly taking in nature, watching the slant of light change. I noticed a tendency to rush toward this nourishing experience, as if other concerns are interfering with my "real life." I looked at the pretty card I had chosen, and remembered how much it meant to me to hear from people during those long days after a death. I could almost hear a voice saying, This is your real life. All this.

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