Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Commitments You Don't Keep

You probably think the commitments to others are the really important ones: making the dentist appointment on time, going to someone's birthday dinner, going to work every day, being faithful to the Wun you said you'd be faithful to (trying to be modern here and not just say "your spouse").  I'm not saying they aren't.  But I'm not sure how much they need to be talked about, because we all tend to take them seriously.

The Wun we don't take seriously is ourself.  Oh, you know where I'm going with this.  But before I go on, really, I need to slow down this flow of word and thought and . . . you know where I'm going with this . . . do my practice.

Part of my practice these days is easy photography, catching texture or color or light, or Tashi in her infinite beautiful poses.  My new Droid has been a great help with this - a basic point-and-shoot that I always have with me.  I bought the book Contemplative Photography to encourage me to do this, and it has worked.  I haven't read it all the way through or done the exercises, exactly - but it helped me along with this.

So, not too strict, not too loose, that's right effort.  And if you just won't do something, like meditate every day, maybe you need to sit down and really think about it.  Maybe it's not the practice for you.  Maybe the commitment came from the mother in your head, and maybe the child in you is doing a healthy rebellion.  And there are a dozen or a thousand other reasons we don't take time for ourself, none of them good reasons.  Not one.

1 comment:

  1. A very nice reflection on listening to our inner wisdom. Committment can be very important but sometimes we don't follow through because something doesn't work for us.... Thank you always for your forthright writing.