Yesterday's awful hospitalization is now yesterday. The tests showed I had not had a heart attack, and had no lung problems or infections to explain the vertigo. I was very happy to talk with an intelligent and respectful doctor, and be discharged. And home, and had the best night's sleep of my life. The vertigo is less today. What I've learned is that there are many possible causes for it, and sometimes (a nurse told me this) they can test you for everything and come up with no diagnosis. We'll be alert.
But I wanted to write here about what happened yesterday after I got through the (awful) nuclear stress test. Here's what I wrote in my journal:
There was Kim, the nurse's aide, so friendly, reassuring, happy to help with coffee and extra cookies. Then, being wheeled back to my room, talking to Barb on my phone - and she is great, she'd delivered my medicines - there was Rod, an elderly wheelchair valet who told me he was a retired doctor, and reassured me that I’d done the right thing to refuse contrast dye, and humorously encouraged my revenge fantasy, probably thinking it would fade. There was Kathleen on the phone [a friend who is a chaplain]. Then the male nurse’s aide who came in and put Abbott and Costello on the TV for me, laughing, "You've got to see this." Then Cassie calling again to stay in touch.
One person after another. It felt better and better. And I thought, it's like I was surrounded by those angels Teri S. had wished for me when she read what I was going through. We got home, there was Gini on the phone, and we talked and laughed like crazy. Then Chris and Scott called. The thought persisted - What if these are angels flocking toward me? What if there is something felt in the universe - which is made up of energies - among people who are connected and care for each other, some intuition that draws the compassionate toward a person in need?
That idea gives me a little thrill of goose bumps even now. I first heard the prayer from Hansel and Gretel as a girl, and I loved that idea of a protecting squad of angels. And why not? Anything's possible.