Monday, September 24, 2012
How I spent a Beautiful Sunday
What I did yesterday (not in chronological order) -
dreamed in color
wrote a not-feelgood poem about my upcoming 70th birthday
answered an e-mail requesting wisdom without pretending to wisdom
posted a sharp, bitter retort to a racist Facebook posting by a relative, immediately deleted it on the principle that you will always regret making someone hate you, double that if it's a relative
threw a whole bunch of clothes on the guest bed, stating that I hate my entire fall-winter wardrobe, all these ugly colors
did not go to church picnic, full of resentment at the allergies that made my ear ache all day from just driving home from church with the windows up. But I'm in a nonpartying mood these days. I feel like the lone wolf in a world full of packs that are running about doing something that doesn't look like fun to me. [probably should delete this]
the cat ran under my descending foot, got stepped on, screamed and ran away for an hour. Apologies meant nothing to her, but the passage of time cured her.
contemplated driving to Indiana to go to an L. L. Bean store and pick out some pretty flannel shirts
asked aloud, "How am I going to amuse myself until I die?"
[deleted something here]
discovered an interesting writer, filled an hour studying "dead reckoning," a term likely to end up in a poem. No experience is useless to an artist.
said to self all Zen-like, Don't resist the depression. Just watch it. Just feel it.
shared the video above about a nasty old man who actually got a citation for harassing bicyclists - they filmed him. I bet he told the police he was proud of it. [deleted some stuff here]
meditated. Curiously, I am not so depressed when meditating; it cuts down the thought traffic, which is largely the problem.
And.....we went to see a fairly bad movie, unless you like Men in Black. But the end takes it to Cape Canaveral, and Tom really enjoys all that space stuff. Moreover, afterward we ran into one of my favorite families in the world and I got a lovely hug from one of the boys. There are hugs, like you have to give at funerals, and then there are just hugs from the heart.
p.s. I learned that Right Speech is almost entirely a matter of not saying things. Delete. Undo.