This morning I am soberly reading a blog (Chronic Positivity) by jsher, who's had more health problems than me, and who set out to specifically chronicle for family and friends what it was like waiting for, and getting, a transplant. He does this so well that it makes me think I don't need to do it, actually haven't with his kind of specificity. So I'm wondering, what do I do here? I wrote to him that I chronicle this journey through a Buddhist lense. More of a spiritual journey. Which is not from here to there, but here (again), now here (again.)
Right now "here" is time to stretch and meditate. It will be six weeks Tuesday since the transplant, and I've beeen meditating and praying spontaneously at different times, but not with a discipline. It has been a comfort to me to remember that Issan stopped trying to meditate as he was dying - too much work. It is, when you feel exhausted. And when mood is down, you have no motivation. And these are explanations, or excuses.
Did it. Time for breakfast.