The last tulip, not photoshopped

We picked up a copy of my most recent blood tests today. My poor little kidneys are holding their own! - hemoglobin stable at 10, in other words, I'm still making red blood cells. eGFR stable at 8. It's not a good number - 8% of kidney function - but I can live with it and not go on dialysis. One of these days I need to explain why I so don't want that, do want a transplant instead.

After reading the numbers in the van I burst into a spring shower of tears. Relief. After that I had such energy! I didn't think I was depressed over the weekend, waiting for these results, but I was. I go through this every month. It's been four months now since my eGFR suddenly dropped from 12 to 8 for no reason anyone can figure out. When kidneys are this weak, doing their job is hard on them. It's easier to see how sick a person is when their lungs are only functioning at 8%, or their heart.

We went on to the health club, as planned, and I got up to 23 minutes, 1400 steps on the Nustep. (Goal, 30 minutes) Did three of the strength machines (abdomen, chest, back) at a higher level than before. Did my PT exercises to build strength in that left leg that got so weak last year when I was off my feet. I still can't climb a flight of stairs.

There are things you know, but don't realize deeply. Today I realized a cluster of things: that it would benefit me to be stronger, and I can achieve it by doing these exercises, and that it's work, not fun. So part of me wants to add, So get over it.

And let's see - what would be a bit more fun as an image? A picture from about a month ago. This tulip was blown-out, getting near to dropping its petals. It is sitting by the front door in the morning light. I am still very far from using Photoshop or a cheap imitation, though I do have a book now. When I look through the book, I don't think they're necessarily improving the pictures when they "manipulate" them (sounds unpleasant, doesn't it?). I like things that look like they actually do look, a mark perhaps of my generation. I think before you go about changing things, you ought to make sure you know how they actually look.