Thursday, January 1, 2009

The only resolution you need

[Vill and Will going at it; video by Crazydood69]
There’s a lot of Will rampaging around right now, this being the morning when the western world sits at the kitchen table holding its collective head in its hands and imagining a less ramshackle life. In comes Will, who was a shaggy-headed red-faced guy last night in Times Square but this morning is starched and tucked in, hair combed back slick as a Hollywood Nazi - the version of our friend we call Vill, pronouncing the W as a V with what is left of our college German. Vill is here to fix you, ominous words.

Why do we want to fix ourselves? There it is, the universal human condition, wanting to be accepted in the monkey tree. You can plumb your individual story for the curlicues and epicycles of your unique path; that is the Janus-looking-backward part of January 1. You’re pretty sure it would be more productive to look forward and plan a smoother path, with better shoes.

All these dualities. Impulse vs. Kontrol. Past vs. Future. They have this in common: they don’t exist. You feel a little impulse, you reify it (good word!) into that big rampaging Will, filling the future with his cravings. The movie of your Self-Image starts to play and you reify that: I Vill be Good. No you won’t. There is no such thing. Or, whose Good will you be?

Oh my, all this fighting. I can see them at the kitchen table. Vill is standing, imperious - his white shirt tucked in - and Will rises, angry. They begin to paw at each other like cats in that early form of battle, thrust and parry. Pretty soon they will be rolling around on the floor cursing. Vill’s slick black hair will be falling into his eyes and Will will be red and panting. Both of them are getting corn flakes crumbs on them - you should have run the Roomba.

What can save us now?

Someone has to call time out and put them both to doing something useless and mundane. Take a walk, a stroll. Look out the window and think about the sky. Sit and meditate. Do nothing.
Do nothing. There’s a good New Year’s resolution. I resolve that in the year to come I will spend more time just being. Hanging out, wasting time. To hell with all this becoming. Do this, and eventually Will calms down, though you understand, that’s not your purpose.

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