Monday, March 7, 2011

Extending Kindness to Yourself

Above, a very relaxing video with pretty good sound.  The changing pictures are lovely, but I liked to close my eyes to listen, because I'm very distracted by visuals.  It took me back to my first beloved yoga teacher, George, and the time he had us lie in shavasana in a darkened room and listen to Panamanian flute music.  I realize now it must have been shamanistic, because it had a profound effect on me.

Thursday night we watched (on streaming Netflix) a fascinating documentary titled Stress: Portrait of a Killer, because recent behavior on the part of my transplant doctor and nurse has led us to start looking for someone else to work with.  The director of the center hasn't answered my letter requesting a transfer to another doctor, and now I am searching elsewhere.  So it's been very stressful around here, the energy passing from me to Tom and Tashi, who keeps wanting to nibble on my arm.

I am aware that the stress is nowhere to be found, just my mental emissions.  However, it's still there, my mind, conditioned to knot up my stomach when I have to stand up to authority, though I've done it many times.  I need to work more deeply with that, and to relax more.  Maybe listen to many versions of Canon.

The researcher in the documentary was a fascinating guy with lots of curly hair who loves working in the field, brings his wife and kids along.  They documented how baboons' bodies change when they are under chronic stress.  They collect plaque in their arteries, for instance.  The immune system shuts down.  Females don't ovulate.  This was so much more convincing than the endless parade of articles about stress.  It led me to vow spontaneously to be kind to my body.  I'll let you know how that goes.  Right now it goes to meditation.

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