Monday, February 28, 2011

Healing with Music

the music
Exploring YouTube I came up with this.  After several starts, it was the one that went straight to my core, started me singing along and moving in rhythm.  Listening to music before breakfast is a new practice I have found energizes me.  I believe it is healing, too . . . thinking how it is a way of breathing, and how very human it is.
on the medical side
My friend is in the infusion lab right now getting chemotherapy.  I wrote to her about it.  I did infusion once for several days for iron stores "in the toilet."  There was nothing threatening, as there would be with cancer, no major side effects, and I enjoyed the rest and the peaceful atmosphere.  It also reminded me that everyone there was probably worse off than me.  I didn't know then how awful chronic kidney disease would become, that I would be facing death or dialysis - a more prolonged dying - by the time Laurie heard I needed a kidney.  I knew the iron would make me feel better.

The day I had to be on the drip 3 hours I took a book by Lama Surya Das, who is an easy read, and elected to be in a hospital bed instead of a chair, and enjoyed reading and breathing.  They even brought you a packed lunch if you wanted.  I felt pampered.  It is my nature to feel overloaded by my sense of responsibility, and being sick all these years I really can never get things done, so I sort of enjoy being tied down, even being in the hospital (for a short stay), having someone bring me food, choosing just what I want.  However, I do like normal life better.  Whatever normal is these days.  And there is no "normal," is there - that's just a statistical term.

Today promises to be my last IV dose of cefepime, with all its damn uncomfortable side effects, so maybe I'll have a week or so of wellness before the next UTI hits.  Have to work on getting a new kidney doc and examining this problem.  Meanwhile, "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

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