I just finished making an Amazon gift order from the warm coziness of my house and fleece robe - it is 8 degrees out right now, not what I had planned for mid-December. But the sky is French Blue. Next I will work on cultivating the attitude that I have shown my love, and if someone doesn't like or use these rather inventive gifts, no problem.
In fact, that would be a good thing to write on gift cards, wouldn't it? "This gift is not meant to fulfill your secret dreams or make you happy, but to express my affection." Taking this one step further, you could just buy someone hard to please a a flock of chicks ($20) or a goat ($120 or $10 a share) from Heifer. I consider this the ideal gift, for it goes to someone else far away, making no demands on the recipient; size, color, taste are not considerations; and it helps keep poor people alive and earning.
As must be plain, I have been giving gifts - sometimes things I made - for many, many years, often to people who did not express enough gratitude, if I say so myself. And - full disclosure - people who seemed puzzled and disappointed at a gift from Heifer.
That kind of response probably means the individual really wanted a remote-control Devil Duck or a cowled cashmere sweater, but how were you to know? I feel that people in general don't understand that one is supposed to appreciate. To say with enthusiasm, "I love it - what is it?"
"Next I will work on cultivating the attitude that I have shown my love, and if someone doesn't like or use these rather inventive gifts, no problem."
ReplyDeleteThank you Dalai Grandma! That is very wise. Yesterday (Christmas day) I was really struck by how much I was focussing on what other people thought of me. I also realised how confronted I felt by a relative's copious generosity, like gift giving is some kind of competition! Then it struck me, I should just be me, feel how I feel about people, give what I give, receive what I receive, and be grateful.