Bearing Witness

Now comes the hard part.  The funerals for the children and teachers who died at Sandy Hook are not getting as much press.  Who wants to keep thinking about our unbearable vulnerability? You'd never go to the movies again if you let Aurora get to you.  Remember Aurora?  That shooting took place at the hugely hyped premiere of a violent movie.  These people were shot there:

The little girl had been taken by her father to the midnight premiere as a special treat.  That gunman showed up dressed in combat gear.  Here is a quote from one of the survivors, Stephen Barton, who was shot in the face and neck.  He was interviewed by CBS:

"I thought we were going to get somewhere after what happened in Aurora and frankly, all we got was silence."

Sunday morning a stalwart advocate for peace at my church had a table with some bumper stickers and buttons for sale.  I picked up one lone sticker that said "Don't buy War Toys," but then got distracted signing a petition and put it down.  I had already wondered if I should put that on my car, or if it would just lead to some violent response such as keying my poor old Civic or, worse, puncturing tires.  After all, the opposition believes in violent action, and you've heard how they're talking online.  Women, too. 

I have just experienced today's 15 minutes of frustration looking online for that sticker, to put it up on this post, but didn't find it in a jpg, which is all I know how to use.  There is this article, though - you might want to read it.  I got the above photo off that site. 

I have vowed to continue bearing witness to these tragedies.  This is the essence of the awareness Buddhism teaches, that we take in the whole thing, all the suffering in the world, and not close our eyes to it.  Compassion and working for peace and social justice are all one thing.  I came up with a couple of ideas for activism today.  One is writing to the President or CEO of Barnes and Noble to remind them that their shelves are stocked with stuff like this.  WalMart knows better than that just now.  I imagine no one at Barnes and Noble has thought about it.  These are books I happened across looking for a Zen calender for next year.  You can buy a 365 day calender on guns, but not one on Zen.  Irony is not dead.

 Not thinking about it is what the pro-gun forces want us to do.  So stay with your sadness and anger, and suck it up.  This is a political process.  It takes work of a different kind than arguing with the violent people who show up on your Facebook somehow. Trading insults with them isn't going to get us anywhere except a little sick in our stomachs.  It takes money and publicity and encouraging the President to use his power and sticking with it.  Mother Jones had it right when she said, "Pray for the dead and work like hell for the living."

And, you could share this post.  Thanks.

There is Work to be Done

Children being led past their dead friends, told to keep their eyes closed

 I woke up this morning with the Sandy Hook massacre on my mind, and ideas about how I can help push sensible gun laws through our political system. Opening my e-mail is a little more annoying than usual these days, with marketers in a frenzy to sell me cigars and mail-order cookies. But my stern mood was modified when my inbox led me to Smiling Mind, and I sat with the 5-minute body scan.

I have been impatient with the advice coming from ministers and Buddhist teachers that we all sit deeply with this grief, because I'm not hearing people say, "Now get to work."  To my mind came something I once read said by Zen Teacher Bernie Glassman.  He and his students were meditating every morning in the overgrown schoolyard of an abandoned school.  He said, as I recall, Meditation is a luxury; I could do it all day.  But there is work to be done.  So they just meditated for 20 or 30 minutes.  Then he and his students began cutting back the weeds that were shielding dealers selling drugs to children. 

This is the moment when something can happen in America that can prevent these tragedies.  Here is a link to an article with the headline "Gun Backlash Begins."  As well it might.  It is our job to remember, to insist that the backlash goes on.

I went to Michael's craft store today and bought black grosgrain ribbon and tiny safety pins.  I am making a black ribbon to wear until - I am not sure.  I am not putting it aside to celebrate.  I intend to wear it on my red-and-green plaid Christmas shirt at least until the turn of the year.  Then I'll think about it.  I'm very awkward with hand sewing, so I don't know how many more I'll make, but I'd like to have some to give away if somebody wants one. 

The poet William Blake - another madman, by the way - wrote this phrase:  "Joy and woe are woven fine."  One of Roshi Glassman's main teachings is Bearing Witness to the suffering in life. This is why he leads retreats at Auschwitz.  We need to keep remembering those 20 children and six adults who were murdered by an unhappy young man with his mother's guns, guns she had taught him to use.  We need to think about how far and wide the tragedy of these deaths spreads, how many lives are irrevocably stained by it.

I would be interested in hearing from some of you who don't live in America, how you see this, whether you see America as a violent nation.  May we be free from danger.

Why The Dark Knight Shooting Happened

I feel compelled to comment on the Dark Knight massacre that took place last night, because I read a column by someone asking, How do things like this happen?  He was saying, in part, that he just couldn't understand a mind like that.  That's true.  Psychosis is a different country.  I know.  I dropped into that place with my second manic episode.   This took place over two years after a really bad psychiatrist named Roslyn Pariser misdiagnosed the first mania, and the suicidal depression that followed.  I'm pretty sure she's not practicing anymore, and may have died.  Not by my hand.  I don't own a gun.

But I could if I wanted to.  I imagine any records of me as a mental patient all those years ago are lost in time, and predate the universal medical databases now being started.  I could walk into any gun store and buy whatever I wanted, just like that poor, sick kid, or get a friend to do it for me.  There's no national database to kick out a name when someone buys 6000 rounds of ammunition.  The NRA doesn't want that.  So here's reason #1 why that massacre happened:

In America, anyone can get a gun.

It is well-known that most Americans favor stricter gun control than we have, and that it is the "lobbying" of the NRA that makes politicians shy away from the issue.  I want to define that word.  Lobbying = money.  The wealthy give politicians money through one device or another, and they have access to politicians.  And it takes a lot of money to win an election.  That's what it means.  Otherwise, the voices of ordinary citizens like me who don't want our grandchildren killed in driveby shootings would result in change.  And that's why I give what I can, which isn't much, to support candidates I believe in; the little people have to pool our voices to be heard over the loud voice of money.

And here's reason #2:

Too many Americans admire vigilantism.

If you don't think so, watch the trailer for "Dirty Harry" above. Check the box office for such films as "Dirty Harry."  Count the explosions in "The Dark Knight" (I won't be seeing it).  And think about the Trayvon Martin case, how the vigilante who killed him would have gotten away scot-free if his parents had not had the internet and the ability to publicize the scandal.  And think about what this has to do with your neighbor's admiration of those who get wealthy, even if they did it by outsourcing his job to cruel sweatshops in China, because he agrees with the American Myth that anyone can do it if they try.

This problem is not just about vigilantism and greed, though.  Here's reason #3:

A significant number of Americans don't want to pay taxes.

What does that have to do with it?  It is our pooled money, gathered in taxes, that pays for our mental health agencies.  And when the budget gets tight, they are among the first things to get cut.  If anyone had noticed this guy's behavior, the resources it would take for someone to visit him, even the systems to do that don't exist.  They cost money.  It is money - taxes - that builds our roads and sewers and the systems of law and order, and mental hospitals and agencies.  Building a decent, safe society costs money.  We gather that money through taxes.

Moving from the political to the personal and spiritual, here's reason #4:

Nobody was paying attention to that guy.

Last count, according to ABC news, James Holmes had bought four guns, one of them an assault rifle, and 6000 rounds of ammunition - what, nobody adds this up?  A brilliant student, he'd dropped out in June.  Why?  Did anyone talk to him?  Did anyone in his program care about him?

I was a grad student myselfl in fact, I was admitted to OSU on a Presidential Fellowship, which is fairly prestigious. Yet nobody ever took me aside, talked to me, mentored me, or gave a damn when I said, at graduation, that I didn't want to teach anymore.  Even my director didn't ask me why.   And I foundered around for a couple of years, but was lucky enough to find my way.

That kid didn't.  His dropping out was a sign something was wrong; some teacher should have called him, talked to him, showed that they cared, tried to find out what was going on, whether he needed help.  I hope we come to learn that someone tried.  His own mother is quoted as saying "You have the right guy."  I'm sure other people could see what she apparently saw in her son.

James Holmes had been psychotic for a long enough time to stockpile weapons and protective gear, and elaborately booby-trap his apartment.  Now neighbors are saying he was strange, he was reclusive.  But did anyone take a coffeecake to his door?  I haven't heard of it yet.  Did anyone smile at him on the stairs and  say hello in the parking lot, or did people turn away because maybe he seemed a little unfriendly?

This tragedy is just awful.  And it's one of a long string of these things.  All I can do about it, other than support political candidates who might change things, is ask myself who I know that might enjoy a little kindness, at least a friendly smile and a greeting.  Is there anyone I shy away from or avoid because they're different?  I really hope not.  I'm going to be watching.  I hope we all are.