My life: this moment stopped reading a good article on "The wisdom of no escape" put on Facebook by a good artist I've never met to take my 9:30 a.m. pills....
We have no water except drinking water in bottles and what we are getting through a hookup to a kind neighbor's hose, except that yesterday they shut the water off and the hose froze, which we really didn't want to happen...... Our water main to the street broke eleven (yes, 11) days ago. The front yard is all torn up again with a bobcat sitting there. It awaits a city inspector now. Will they come? Will we then get water? I am not optimistic. The glass has been empty, after all, for a long time.
Can't take pills while typing....where did the other one go? Ah, on the floor. Good thing I don't let the cat in my study. (I'm very allergic to her. Russian Blues are the kind to get if you want to develop a big cat allergy. They have these very fine little hairs in their plush undercoat.)
|Tashi's favorite medium is sunlight|
This had me screaming at the cat. (Of course, she sees me as a big cat, and they growl sometimes. It doesn't seem to have affected her desire to sit on my lap and waft allergens up to me.)
So with all this, my practice slipped, and in fact, I got really pissed off at the very idea of practicing equanimity.
That's why we Buddhists pay attention to our attachments. The stronger the attachment, the bigger the suffering. You can soften your ego trips, but attachment can't be avoided, of course. You get attached to people and they get sick or move or die or won't speak to you anymore (which is sometimes just fine). Loss is often a surprise. Death, especially.
Today I am babying myself, not doing too much physical work, because I have pain and congestion in my right ear and blood coming from that sinus, and a mild headache. Allergy, virus, who knows. And I've been having fibromyalgia flares with all this "it's-not-climate-change" severe winter. Chocolate chips in my oatmeal seemed to help. I'm doing nasal rinses with this excellent inexpensive system that prevents and cures sinus infections, which are common in the Ohio Valley. BTW, antibiotics very seldom cure sinus infections. You should not talk your doctor into giving them to you. You shouldn't even see your doctor about it unless you're running a temp. Your doctor should know about nasal rinses and hot/cold compresses, but probably does not. You should listen to your grandma.
Here's what I wrote in my morning journal this morning, starting with a quote from Janet, an online dharma friend:
The human being by nature is inadequate, practices zazen inadequately, realizes true nature inadequately. This is the Virya Paramita*. On and on we persevere, like a small child determined to learn how to walk while continually falling down, or like a very old person getting up in the middle of the night, lurching from wall to wall to reach the bathroom.*This "perfection" of zeal is defined in Wikipedia as "an attitude of gladly engaging in wholesome activities." Doesn't that sound good?
Robert Aitken, The Practice of Perfection, p. 69
I also wrote instructions to myself:
feed this body-mind good food
move this body-mind to rhythm
rest this body-mind enough today
treat this body-mind well
treasure this body-mind
recollect that this body-mind
is woven into the great fabric,
and treat it well, too
I should listen to myself, too.