Friday, February 17, 2012

What Oprah Doesn't Know

So was looking over a Nov. 2011 O magazine, a workbook on finding your bliss.  You did exercises and then looked to say what “type” you are, that is, what motivates you.  So, what you need in your work.

Five clusters were given, and as I read them and thought about my answers, none of them were about me.  But on the next page was one lonely left-over motivation - enlightenment.  Well, that’s a relief.  Surely that was me.  Though connection and reward and security matter to me, I want most to be my authentic self (or, for you Buddhists, my authentic changing self whose identity is never fixed).

And I think that all of us fundamentally want something we believe security or enlightenment will bring us: happiness.  That’s the flaw in Opah’s whole scheme - it doesn’t go down to the deep layer.  If we are not fundamentally contented and in touch with reality, nothing will make us happy.  If you want an example, look at the latest dead celebrity, or go back to Michael Jackson.  There is no such thing as enough achievement - external reward - if that really matters to you.
Health Update:
Monday I went up to my doctor and gave a urine sample.  If it shows too many bacteria, they send it out for sensitivity culture.  You’d think that would be back by Wednesday, but it was after hours Thursday when they called to say it’s a bad UTI and I need to go on an IV antibiotic.
So today the Home Health nurse came at 12:30 and made four (4) attempts to get an IV in my one poor skinny overworked arm (the other arm has lymphedema).  She got more and more distressed, but at 1:30 had to give up and make phone calls.  So the word came trickling back that I would have to be admitted to the hospital to have a PIC line put in, a sort of long, fancy IV that stays in place.  Not through the ER, I said.  No, no, we’ll have you admitted directly to the Med Ward.  We’ll call back. 

No call back yet.  I know the PIC team usually works until 5:00 and is in a very bad mood if they are kept over.  So, sigh.  And they just called.  And yes, I’ll be there.  And will have to add a photo to this later.

Update 11:00 pm
Admitted to hospital 4 pm.  Total confusion, what a mess.  Finally at 7pm. PICC inserted, X-ray comes back, it isn't right.  PICC re-inserted, X-ray says okay.  Home 9 pm beyond exhausted and hungry.  Enjoyed grilled cheese and tea and Lilyhammer.  11 pm, PICC bleeding.  Call the help line.  It's normal.  Go to bed.  That's good, because I did not have it in me to go back there.  Turns out you can have a PICC inserted outpatient; you make an appointment.  My doctor didn't know that.  This is so typical.  It's all too complicated and specialized, so nobody ever knows how the system works.  Not for the first time, I wish I was one of Queen Elizabeth's Corgis.  You bet they get good medical care.
Yeah yeah, accept reality.  But you don't have to like it.


  1. Jeanne, I'm sorry about the hospital business. I will be thinking of you.

    Good clarifications that Oprah missed, by the way.

  2. What Oprah doesn't really understand is that life ...lives you. One really doesn't have any control over it. Enlightenment is the knowledge of this on on a cellular level, and you can see most American's don't get it. They approach life as a "Human Doing" not as a "Human Being."

  3. Jeanne, I wish I could write something to ease any of this, as if it is possible. This post simply made me cry. Right. I don't like it.

  4. PS I had a PIC line for 6 weeks....the only problem is the calcium buildup near the insertion point.

    1. Wow. I hope this isn't that long. Ten days on the antibiotic, wait two days, followup urine sample, wait for results. But I am told it's easier to shower with new press 'n save Saran Wrap around it. We'll see.

  5. Oprah didn't go deep? What a surprise!