Thursday, September 9, 2010

Arranging the ongoing now

the cat:  Sheba had extensive dental surgery yesterday, five bad teeth removed.  She spent overnight at the  Vet hospital getting hydrated on an IV and perhaps meowing pitifully, or maybe just crouching, aware that there are dogs in the vicinity.  We missed her often, expecting her to be on the kitchen table yowling for breakfast while you make coffee, or on her chair in the study when you check e-mail.  Once she heals her mouth pain should be gone.  We have to give her antibiotics and a syringe of pain medicine twice a day.  Boy, does she not like it!

my transplant:  It will drive you crazy if you let it - waiting for the transplant people to call with a date for surgery. Waiting to see if I go into high gear then, or stay relaxed.  Now hung up waiting for my internist to fax them that I am recovered from pancreatitis.  Where is he? 
     Certain questions lie cloudy in the back of my mind.  How long will convalescence take?  (Oh god, I could wake up with a dialysis catheter in my neck, the transplant having failed.)  What will I be like when I m fully recovered and feel well?  A future no one can predict, though I have my intention:  I will accept this kidney with profound gratitude.  That's the key, that your body/mind not reject it.

But then there are the trivial concerns, like

the spices:  Will I finish alphabetizing them and clean the counter up?
[I did.]

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